Harry Potter and the Bra Strap of Complexity
by celestine de karamel
Summary: The title says it all... Originally posted on GT.net, and dedicated to all the former GTers out there.


This was terrible. This was impossible. This was even worse than warding off a bunch of Dementors. Harry felt sweat trickle on his forehead, clutching his wand so tightly his knuckles whitened, a strange fear building up in his chest.  
  
"Clipsoclipsis!" he exclaimed.  
  
Nothing happened. Harry groaned and let himself plop down on the matress. He knew that he wouldn't survive this nerve-wracking test.  
  
The door opened, causing him a near heart attack. To make matters worse, it was Ron who was standing in the doorway, starring at him with eyes like tea saucers.  
  
"Harry. What the hell are you doing with that pillow?"  
  
*********************  
  
As much as Harry loved the Burrow in the summer, he had to admit that it wasn't exactly ideal in terms of privacy. Weasleys running around everywhere, owls coming in and out of windows, Crookshanks chasing garden gnomes. A lively place, but a little too crowded.  
  
Ron had felt the same as Harry, but he had one advantage over his friend: he knew all the hiding places the old house offered and put them to good use with Hermione. They had been dating for over a year and a half and had become masters in the art of sneaking around quietly and making themselves unnoticed. It also definitely helped that the Weasleys were perfectly aware of their relationship.  
  
Which was more than Harry and Ginny could say for themselves.  
  
During Harry's sixth year, they had gradually become friends, but Ginny remained somewhat a mystery to him. She was unusually discreet for a Weasley, yet fun and adventurous once you got to know her. Harry had often caught himself thinking about her, a diamond in the rough, well hidden behind second-hand robes and awkward smiles.  
  
To be sure, there was something about Ginny that left Harry with a sense of amazement that had quickly turned into a crush. And once the two of them had got over their own shyness, annoying siblings and O.W.Ls, serious things had started to happen. They had gone on a few dates that always ended with quick kisses on the cheek, until the day they dared to venture further.  
  
Ron had been surprisingly understanding; Harry strongly suspected Hermione having something to do with it, but the result was satisfying. Ginny was, of course, teased to no end by her brothers, especially the twins, but at least she and Harry could hold hands in the halls without Ron trying to hex them.  
  
Harry and Ginny had agreed to keep it secret from her parents, though.They'd only been going out for four months, and they both thought it was a bit to early to make it official. So, much to Harry's frustration, he had to spend his days pretending she was just a friend, his dinners trying to not to blush as small hands went roaming under the table, and his nights tiptoing quietly to the girls' room to spend a little time with her and catch up on snogging, while Hermione would take his place in Ron's room.  
  
And then, early August, a ray of hope. The Weasleys were invited to Arabella Figg's hundreth birthday along with all their old friends from Hogwarts. It was strictly an "old-timer's thing", as Arabella herself had put it, so the kids had to stay at the Burrow for the night, even though Molly wasn't too keen on the idea.  
  
"Don't worry, Mum," Fred had said. "Dad'll put a Locking Charm on the house, and we promise to behave."  
  
Harry and Ron had tried to keep sincere and innocent faces, but it had been hard to fight back grins. A break from parental presence was the perfect opportunity for everybody to let their hair down, as Professor McGonagall would have put it.  
  
Harry was determined to make the most of it.  
  
"Hermione and Ron won't get in the way," Ginny had whispered to him one evening while he was playing Exploding Snap with the twins. "It's been awhile since we've had some time alone. We ought to put it to good use and catch up on our. Care of Magical Creatures lessons."  
  
The playful smile she had granted him, somewhere between desire and tenderness, had made him quiver with impatience . That night, he felt like his whole being was on fire instead of just his eyebrows.  
  
Yet, when Arabella's dinner party was only two days off, Harry desperately wished for an extra week to prepare himself. The Burrow was as busy as ever, and he had had to wait until after lunch, when everybody was out dozing in the sun, to carry out the plan he had rigged up in his head.  
  
He was sure he wouldn't get interrupted while performing the spell he was trying to learn, but Ron was obviously no dozer and had walked in on him right after he had tried to get it right for the thirtieth time.  
  
*********************  
  
"Harry. What the hell are you doing with that pillow?"  
  
"I, um, well, actually." Harry stammered, trying to hide it under the covers.  
  
"And why. Why did you wrap a. a. Harry!" Ron gasped. "That's one of Hermione's bras!"  
  
Despite his embarassement, Harry smirked. "I'm not surprised you recognize it."  
  
"That's not the point! What's it doing here?" Ron asked in a huff.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. Ron was awfully jealous when it came to Hermione; he would even get angry with his brothers if he caught them looking at her a little too closely.  
  
"Fine. If you must know, I asked Hermione for her permission, all right ? She thought I had some weird fetish at first, but then I explained my problem to her so she let me borrow her, um, thingie."  
  
Ron wasn't satisfied with Harry's answer, but he seemed more curious than really pissed off. " Okay, I believe you. So tell me: what does your problem have to do with the fact you're sitting on my bed with your wand and a bra wrapped around a pillow?" Ron raised an eyebrow at him. "This better be good because lacy blue clashes horribly with bright orange."  
  
Harry bit his lip. He wasn't sure how tell Ron about what was troubling him. "Well, it's like this. You see, me and Ginny have decided to. to. to take our relationship a step further."  
  
Ron's jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
"We've messed around a bit, but nothing terribly serious. However. it's getting there. So I wanted to, um, practice before your parents go out Thursday evening. Just in case."  
  
Ron didn't answer Harry. He started pacing around the room. "And the bra?"  
  
"Actually," Harry continued," it's for this spell I picked up in The Wondrous World of Wisecracking Wizards."  
  
"The twins' own Bible! I would never even dare touch it!"  
  
"Oh, it was just lying around so. Anyway, I thought it might be useful since. since. I don't know how to.to."  
  
Harry muttered something Ron was unable to make out. "What was that?" he asked.  
  
"I said, I don't know how to unclaspe a bra. I get mixed up with the hooks and stuff." Harry's face took on a deep crimson hue. "That's what the spell is for. You just point and say 'Clipsoclipsis' and it snaps open. Or at least that's what it's supposed to do, because I haven't been able to get anything out of it yet."  
  
"Hmm. Maybe it's bogus," Ron offered, before suddenly remembering he was angry. "Now let me get this straight, Harry," he scowled. "You borrowed a piece of lingerie from my girlfriend so you can practice unclasping the bra of my little baby sister?"  
  
"That's about it," Harry admitted, certain Ron was going to give it to him.  
  
"Wow. I'm impressed."  
  
Ron sat down next to him and patted his shoulder, much to Harry's astonishement and relief. "You have some guts, mate. But why not do it the Muggle way? You know, with your hands?"  
  
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just want to impress her with my crafty wand work."  
  
"Harry. that sounded really awful."  
  
Harry whacked Ron with the pillow, laughing. "It's not my fault if you have a perverted mind! Does Hermione know that already ?"  
  
"You have no idea." Ron grinned. "I guess I can forgive you for your behaviour considering your extreme lack of experience compared to my brilliant achievements in that domain."  
  
"You're too kind."  
  
"However, I have one request." Ron's face was grave, and he locked his eyes with Harry's. "Don't hurt Ginny."  
  
"Ron. I couldn't if I tried. I think. I think I really love her."  
  
"Good. That's what I wanted to hear. Now get this bloody bra off my pillow. It's an insult to my Chudley Cannons shrine."  
  
"And where do you suggest I practice? On a tree stump out in the meadow? If Hermione's bra comes back covered with moss stains, I'm not taking the blame."  
  
Ron hesitated a moment, ran to door to make sure it was securely locked and closed the window shades. "You're not going anywhere, you git. You're going to practice on me."  
  
Harry burst out laughing. "Are you serious?"  
  
"Yes. Ginny doesn't need to know you're completely clueless. Besides," he added with a sheepish smile, " I always found bras. mysteriously fascinating."  
  
"I see what you mean," Harry agreed. " I wonder how girls do it. Isn't it a terrible drag to put it on every morning? To have boys snap it in class? And isn't it embarassing when people see it under your clothes?"  
  
" I guess we'll never know," Ron sighed, "but I kinda always wanted to try one on. just to see what if feels like. Haven't you?"  
  
"I think I'll stick to tartan boxers, thanks," Harry replied. "Now will you proceed, Ronina darling?"  
  
Ron eagerly took the bra from Harry's hand, slipped it over his own clothes and started to stretch his arms out in different directions to attach it in the back.  
  
"Urg!! How do you bloody put this on?"  
  
Harry was doubled up in laughter on Ron's bed. "It looks pretty good from here."  
  
"I'm doing this to help, okay, so instead of giggling like an idiot, why don't you help me with those darn clasps ?"  
  
"All right," Harry replied, getting up.  
  
Harry was in the middle of hooking up the bra when both he and Ron heard a small female voice behind the door. "Alohomora!"  
  
Ron turned pale. Hermione walked in, a bemused smile on her face.  
  
"Well, now I know what's keeping you from spending the afternoon with me," she said. "Did you know that eighty-two percent of all men have already tried on a piece of women's lingerie? I read it in the Wondrous World of Wisecracking Wizards."  
  
Harry was near collapsing. Ronina had just been busted.  
  
**********************  
  
"I can't believe Fred and George actually pulled it off."  
  
Ginny was sitting in the sofa on Harry's lap. Her parents had been gone for only an hour, and the dinner table already looked like a battlefield. Pizza crusts and bottles of Butterbeer were scattered everywhere. Ron and Hermione had retreated to Ron's bedroom; the small argument that had started after Harry's practice session had obviously been forgotten. Ginny and Harry were finally alone.  
  
"Yeah. Making that poor delivery man from Magic Muggle Pizzas hand over the slices one by one through the mail slot just because of the Locking Charm. I thought he was going to go barking mad!" Harry shook his head. "Where are Fred and George anyway?" he asked.  
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Ginny told him with a smile. "The Locking Charm will work on all windows, doors and chimneys. However, nobody ever mentioned holes in the roof."  
  
"Are you telling me.?"  
  
"That Fred and George went to the pub down in Ottery St Catchpole to hook up with Muggle girls? Probably, yes. But they've done it a dozen times before. They climb down the drainpipe."  
  
Harry laughed. It was typical of the twins.  
  
Ginny snuggled up closer to him. "Well, what shall we do now?" she asked coyly.  
  
"Why don't we start by finding someplace more comfortable and romantic?" Harry suggested.  
  
A couple of minutes later, they were in the girls' room, surrounded by silence and darkness.  
  
Harry eyed Ginny nervously. "I thought we could. I mean, only if you."  
  
"Harry," Ginny cut in, "I really want to."  
  
Harry nodded. He wrapped his arms around her, clumsily laying her down on the bed, and proceeded to taste every inch of her mouth.  
  
Ginny did nothing to hide her enthusiasm. Her tender encouragement only made Harry feel bolder; his hand started its way up her hip, to her waist, and finally found under her blouse the delicate satin material of her bra. Harry couldn't help but thinking about Ron with Hermione's frilly bra over his jersey. He chuckled slightly, but Ginny took no account of it and applied herself in relieving Harry of his shirt.  
  
As their kisses got steamier, Harry felt moment of truth was near. Carefully undoing the buttons of her blouse, he went through the steps of the spell in his head. Turn round, then point, concentrate. How could he ever concentrate? Ginny was driving him absolutely crazy.  
  
Catching his breath, he dug in the pocket of his jeans for his wand.  
  
Ginny sat up, amused. "Is this a surprise?"  
  
"You could call say that, " Harry said with a wink. Gently leaning into her, he murmured: "Clipsoclipsis!"  
  
Sproing!!  
  
"OW!!!"  
  
"Harry!!"  
  
Ginny hastily snapped her bra back on and made light with her own wand. Harry was clutching his left eye, teeth clenched in pain. Ginny cautiously moved his hands from his face and inspected his eye.  
  
"It doesn't look too bad. What happened?"  
  
"It's a spell I learned.," Harry moaned, ". to open bras."  
  
Ginny looked surprised at first, then exploded in a fit of giggles. Harry felt slightly hurt. He had made a fool out of himself and ruined their evening, but that was no reason to rub it in.  
  
"I'm sorry, Harry," Ginny said after the giggles had died out. "It's just. I think it's really cute."  
  
"You do?"  
  
Ginny blushed a bit. "Yes. And to be perfectly honest. well, Hermione and I have been going over a spell to unbuckle belts."  
  
"You're joking, right?"  
  
"No," Ginny said with a smile, "but it didn't quite work out. The belt kept slapping me viciously in the leg."  
  
Harry sighed. " I guess I was little too eager to. to take it off. It's no wonder it sprang at my face."  
  
Ginny grinned at him slyly. "It seems the only way for us to get it right is to keep practicing."  
  
"Are you sure? Even it takes all night?"  
  
"Try me."  
  
Ginny was looking at him intently; Harry felt a shiver of pleasure pass through his body. "Any other suggestions before we start?" he whispered, wrapping his arms around her.  
  
Ginny turned off the lights.  
  
"Oh Harry." she breathed. "Just do it the Muggle way."  
  
Soon enough, the Bra Strap of Complexity was discarded on the floor, uncared for. A short while later, though, a pair of Tartan Boxers came to keep it company. 


End file.
